The Struggle

blog post struggle

I was born.

The struggle thus began.
Will it stop? Will it end?

I can’t wait. For it to abate.
For it’s hunger to sate.

I wish I could escape.
This eye of the needle I inevitably doth face.

Your beauty is only seen once I’m not imprisoned in you.
The ugly is yet all I know to be true.

I struggle. I push.

I hate you. I’ll leave you.

I’ll break out. I’ll make it.

Then, I’ll love you.

Mr. Nice Guy

blog post nice

Nice guys never get some. Right?
That’s what the world says. That’s what I used to say.
I was a ‘nice guy’ once. Very nice, very naïve.

The world was for me a reflection of what I projected towards it.
I thought, “if I’m nice to the world, then the world will be nice to me”
Pretty neat philosophy, eh?
Guess what? I found out the hard way that you can only be ‘nice’ for so long

They’ll take you for granted. They’ll exploit you.
They’ll use you and they’ll dump you.
They’ll abuse you, and no matter what you do, they’ll still hate you.

So, should I now, because of all these, decide to be come evil and mean and despicable?
Should I become like the world around me, as a coping/defense mechanism?

You know what? Let’s just ask Joseph the Dreamer. Now, that was the quintessential ‘nice guy’.

He had a dream that didn’t favour his brothers, told ’em.
Was sold into slavery by his brothers (who actually considered KILLING him at first), and he forgave ’em (even though he had the power to END them anyway he chose).

Had his boss’ wife (cougar) hit on him, he did the honourable thing and rejected her.

This same woman had her Husband imprison him over a false accusation, yet, he held nothing against them.

Was forgotten by his cellmate (the Pharaoh’s butler) after helping him get outta prison, didn’t hold a grudge against him.

I could go on and on, but, mehn, brother Joseph, he tried!

Now, referencing the story of Joseph, we see some peculiarities.
He was nice all his life. But he was firm when he needed to.
He didn’t let his ‘niceness’ translate to foolishness.
he was ‘harsh’ when he needed to be, but never wicked.

Thus, we can thus tell that sometimes, being nice means dishing out tough love.
It means standing by our principles and not bending to those of the world.

It does not mean trying to please everybody because you want to be deemed ‘nice’.

We need to understand the distinction.

Being ‘a nice guy’ isn’t a function of your particular disposition or behaviour at any given instance; It is a measure of you character.
Who you are. What you are. All you are.

DON’T BE NICE BECAUSE YOU WANT PEOPLE TO LIKE YOU.
DON’T BE ‘EVIL’ BECAUSE YOU WANT PEOPLE TO RESPECT OR FEAR YOU.

Joseph’s ‘niceness’ eventually saved a whole nation from starvation and destruction.
We know who he is to day because of who he was and what he did.
His ‘niceness’ is now an eternal legacy.
I mean, if I didn’t have enough inspiration to be nice, this one is reason enough for me to be!
I hope it’s reason enough for you to be too.

BE NICE. BE REAL. BE GOOD.

Cheers,

TAEO.

Nigeria’s Forgotten Heroes…

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“It was unity we wanted, not rebellion. We had watched our leaders rape our country.

The country was so diseased that bold reforms were badly needed to settle social, moral, economic and political questions.

We fully realised that to be caught planning, let alone acting, on our lines, was high treason. And the penalty for high treason is death.”

Emmanuel Ifeajuna.

Letter to Eve. Women of my life.

Munachi Abii
Munachi Abi. The Beyonce to my Jay-Z. *I pray*

For all the women who have touched my life.
All the women that have blessed me.
Those that I have loved and those I have lost.
Those that have loved me and those that I’ve disliked. All the women I have wronged and I have cheated.
The ones who have hurt me and seemingly broken me.
The beautiful women and the not-so-attractive women.
The ‘spoilt brats’ and the virtuous women.
Those I have wanted and those who have wanted me back.
Also the women I have wanted and who haven’t wanted me back.
The women who I’ve tasted their lips and those who have kissed me.
Those who have taught me and those whom I have learnt from by teaching.
Those that pulled me down with their words and their actions and their thoughts.
Those that have helped me up when I was down physically, emotionally, spiritually.
The women who have inspired me through their love and care. Through their advice and help. Through their dislike and spite.
Those who have patronised me and those who have scolded me.
The strong, independent women, and the ‘OMG-please-you-must-do-everything-for-me-or-I’ll-die’ women.
Those I have seen on TV and those that I have read their words.
Those who have blessed me with their rhythms and their voices.
Those who have made me weep with sadness, with shame, with hope, with joy.
Those who have made me laugh.
Those who have made me ‘LOL’ and ‘LMAO’.
Those whom I have irritated endlessly with my unending barbs and my almost constantly annoying nature.
Those who have made me feel bliss.
Those who have made me happy.

These wonderful women. All of you.
Every single one of you. I am grateful to God for.
Thank you for helping shape the man who I am today.
Couldn’t have done it without you.

And to the ONE woman whom I will share the best years of my life with…

Baby, you’ll have it good. Because I’ll take all the lessons I learnt from all the years before, and I’ll make sure you’ll never lack for love, for warmth, for compassion, for care, for empathy, for joy, for wealth, for passion, for it all.

I’ll love you like no other. I know I will.
I’ll make you happy. That’s the whole point of love.

Signed – TAEO.

PS. Nimide Ogbeun, you don’t know this but reading your missives inspired me to write this down.

It’s just thoughts that I’ve always wanted to write down. It’ll all probably come across as a huge ramble/rant but, it is what it is. A letter to ‘Eve’.

Thanks.

The Mother. My Mother.

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The person who has most influenced my life would be my Mother, Mrs. Tonbara Asake Ogunmodede.

She laid the foundations for the person that I am today with her unequivocal generosity and kindness coupled with her ‘hard-headedness’ and her strength of character.

She’s helped me make wise decisions, stick to my principles, be emotionally strong, keep relationships and simply be happy.

I derive most of my character traits from her and I must say that I consider myself lucky for that.

She still is a great example that I try to follow everyday even as I establish my own path in life.

She has been a great mom, friend, colleague, supporter and even a decent ‘wingman’.

Plus, she’s a great cook, and now, I like to think I am too!

I’d never want another mother, ever.

To the best mother!
BOOM!